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How old is your child?

The question about whether Santa is real often starts to come up once children start school. They have more opportunities to interact with other (sometimes older) tamariki who introduce new ideas. Before you jump in and burst the Santa bubble, take your child’s age into account. The question can mean different things coming from a 6-year-old than a 10-year-old. 

Younger kids are often looking for reassurance that their buddy Santa will visit and there will be a present waiting on Christmas morning. Older kids might be looking for reassurance that it is still OK to believe in the magic of Christmas.

And while many of us probably think that 11- and 12-year-olds are old enough to realise that Santa isn’t real, don’t be surprised if your tween is still holding on. They likely know the truth but want to still hold onto this piece of their childhood (even if it is just to get an extra present!).

Why is your child asking the question?

Before you answer the big question, find out some more information. Ask some questions such as What makes you ask? What do you think about Santa?



These questions will give you insight into your child’s thought process around Santa and why they have brought him up. Next, use your judgement to decide whether it’s time for complete honesty or a bit of gentle reassurance.

What do you think your child wants from this discussion?

Many parents enjoy Christmas and the traditions around Santa just as much (if not more) than their children. Make sure you are truly addressing your child’s concerns and not keeping Santa alive for your own enjoyment.



Now that you’ve got the basics covered, it’s time for some advice on how to direct the conversation…

Tell the truth

Your child has just found out that one of their biggest childhood beliefs is not real and that adults are all in on the whole thing. Now is the time to tell the truth. Try starting with where the legend of Santa came from and why it’s still carried on today. Explain why you have made Santa part of their childhood.

Use your child’s reactions as a gauge

Keep your reactions in line with how your child is reacting. If they ask a casual question then move onto the next thing, then heave a sigh of relief and move on as well. If your child is on the other end of the scale with tears and accusations of lies, step of the empathy and reassurances that Christmas can still be a special time of year.

This as an opportunity to keep the spirit of Santa alive

If your tamariki are ready to stop believing in Santa, use this time to talk about how you can keep the spirit of Santa alive with new Christmas traditions.

Maybe your Santa present fund could be used for donations to an organisation like your local City Mission or Ronald McDonald’s annual Christmas appeal. Or instead of baking cookies for Santa, your tamariki could do baking for elderly family friends or neighbours.



New traditions such as these can help your kids build their generosity and kindness.

Share your experience

Let your child know how you found out Santa wasn’t real. Talk about your feelings and use this as a time to connect and share with your tamariki.

My child still wants to believe, how can I keep the magic alive?

If your tamariki are at the stage where they are looking for reassurance around Santa, there are a lot of great resources that you can use to help keep the magic alive. There is always the traditional Santa visit at your local mall. But if you’re looking for something a little bit different, here are a few of our favourites:

Although the Farmer’s Santa Parade has already been, there are still plenty of local Santa parades happening in a suburb near you.

The Tim Bray Theatre Company puts on a Santa Claus show each year. It’s a fun experience for the whole family. They also have accessible performances that include Audio described and touch tour, sensory relaxed and NZ Sign Language interpreted.

Smith and Caughey’s in Queen Street is one of the best Santa experiences around. There is an enchanted forest as well as the big man himself.

Spark’s annual Santaline has been going for over 30 years. Your child can call 0800 222 222 to speak directly to the North Pole.

With so much communication online these days, it can be easy to forget the joy of receiving a letter in the post. You can use our Santa letter template to send your tamariki a letter from their friend Santa.